80-20 rule by Todd Smith

Even though some may call this a bad analogy, I feel that relationships between a man and woman are pretty similar to a business. In life we search for the things we do not have based on what we see and want. Whether it be on television, walking down the street, at work, going out to eat, party, or go to the movies everyday we see things that we like or want in our lives. A business in many cases, is a company or person(s) that provides a service of or support for a product that we exchange for money. A good business is to provide a reliable source of that need in a timely fashion. Ultimately businesses work diligently for you as the customer, to make sure for that particular service or product you may need, at anytime the thought comes across your mind you will think of that particular company. This is called repeat business. Companies every year spend millions if not billions on advertisement, just to make sure that you do not "CHEAT" on them!In a relationship, we want something from the partner that we lack or do not have at all. If you have low self esteem that person would ideally want someone with a lot of confidence. If you are broke, you would want to be with someone with money to fill that void. If you have a strong sex drive, you want someone that fills that void for you as well. You have heard the saying, "the grass always looks greener on the other side...." plenty times in life but how does this apply to relationships? When you are out and about (male/female) you can't help but to notice the couple that is affectionate or the man/woman that "knows how to treat a lady/man." Us male "sexual deviants" can't help but notice the girl with the skirt to high, or the nice body with the jeans too tight just so we can see every curve that exists on her body, or the too-tight bra that makes her breasts appear so large that it looks like their are 4 of them. Everyday we see things that seem to look more sexier, more fulfilling and just damn right better than what we have at home.They say that in a relationship which is pretty similar to a business, you only get about 80% fulfillment of what we "want." On a daily if you are in a good relationship that means you deal with the 80% that you have and should be thankful for that because the single life can get pretty lonely. So the irony in life is, of course you also will have to face the 20% that you are missing throughout your daily temptations. The logical way of thinking is, I have something good at home so I do not need anything more. If I lose what I have at home it will hurt me as well as my partner that I dearly care about. But we all know, not all men think logically initially and/or especially when we are in the heat of the moment. If humans thought logically all the time then companies like McDonald's would not be as wealthy as they are So when we see the fast and easy, flirtatious, freaky female with the skimpy clothes we might lose our mind because, at home we don't have that. And even if we do have that at home, the one in our face now might just be different enough to seem like its any better. We stick with what we have for the obvious safer reasons right? WRONG! If everyday we eat burgers and fries, its only human instinct that when someone offers steak and potatoes it will look so much better. Regardless if its the same meat, its just cooked differently!The underline of all this is that you as a horny man do not realize that this pretty female in front of you is only offering 20% of your needs. As she brags about her oral sex skills and shows off her beautiful body, she more than likely is not on your level spiritually, financially or just plain right mentally.So why on earth would you give up the 80 for the 20?

-Todd Smith a.k.a "Rav P"

Why do folks judge so harsh???

I was in the store the other day and i had my young black and educated t-shirt on...well on the front it said "Americas Worst Nightmare"I guess that kinda through the lady off for a minute...who knows. anyways...i proceeded to ask her for some help and she actually seemed scared and kinda turned away from me. then i turned around and showed her what it said on the back and you wont believe what came out of her mouth next...."oh I'm so glad that is what it said, i thought you were one of those thugs or something"...then she proceeded to help me...keep in mind that she was black as well. now i wasn't in there all thugged out with my grill in or wearing a du-rag or even saggin'. i guess the first appearance of the shirt just made her judge me. i was being my usual nice, charming self, and meant no harm....now here is the question, do you think that was wrong of her to judge me off appearance alone, or was it simply the fact that i am a young, black male and i looked intimidating? is it fair to judge others off looks alone period? i just wanted to share a very small chapter in my life with you guys...if u care to comment or write back, holla at me on any occasion...

What is "Real Talk" ?

The Real Talk program consists of a three black males that grew up in tough urban communities in Northern New Jersey and now reside in Newport News Virginia. The program talks about how we were able to overcome the adversity of single family households, drugs, gangs, and choosing the right friendships. The intention of the program is to provide an outlet for young children in urban communities that don’t have any young black role models to look up to. Over the past three years Damien Eastman (25), Tommy Jones (23), and Todd Smith (24) have talked to thousands of young kids, by earning their own seminar at the Black College Expo called “Real Talk College Life.” Furthermore, we have been featured on BET and in many local newspaper articles in the seven cities area for the work in the community that we were involved in. We have also started a marketing company called Supply and Demand LLC, which provides marketing and CD/DVD materials for up and coming music artist. Damien Eastman, a recent graduate of Hampton University is now a Doctor of Pharmacy; he discusses the importance of education and how to use the power of networking to increase your opportunity in life. Tommy Jones dyslexic as a young child, and also a Graduate of Hampton University and currently working on his master degree (business administration) provides a powerful insight on how to be successful and not let anybody hold you back. Todd Smith, a recent graduate of ECPI (Computer Network Tech.) talks about the road blocks in his path that he had to overcome in order to become a leader and a stand out individual. His message provides inspiration to those who may not know what they want to do in life.
The definitive goal of the program is to begin speaking to the local area high school and middle school students where society might call “problem areas.” Recently, we were watching the news and people are starting to complain about gang violence in the Virginia Beach and Norfolk area, this is do partly to the lack on role models in our urban communities. One of the comments made was “ We need more leaders in the community to step up and challenge these kids, the drug dealers and gang member are more of a role model then people in the community. “Who do you expect these kids to look up to?” This is a short statement, but very powerful and true.
In closing, we are just reaching out to the leaders and the communities challenging them to help us spread a positive message to our urban youth. If there is anybody you may know that can help us out please guide them in our direction. If there is any information that you my need about anyone of us feel free to contact us at sndrealtalk@yahoo.com or (Tommy) 757-342-0431 or (Damien) 757-639-8533.